Amber
Amber was a research scientist and scholar. He was remarkable in that his awakening came not through spiritual practise, familiarity with gurus, or reading sacred sutras. Rather it came about through his love of mathematics and science. He said that anything when really studied intensely with absolute unwavering attention, led only to Truth. The only trick he said, was to not let ideas get in the way - to just, always, above all else, pay attention.
Anyway, here are a few things he wrote:
Any experience of awakening is a false experience. Those who offer or describe such experiences are those who offer and describe experience. In following paths of right and wrong or ways of achieving something there is a denial of the quiet already in your heart.
You will hear that you must kill the ego. Sort of an internal suicide . You will hear that you must meditate, understand scripture, be at one with the universe, practice vigilance, discover who you really are, and other profoundities that appeal to your mind. Such a strong belief that cause creates effect! Relax - none of this is necessary. Grace will come or it will not. All the rest is of no use at all.
So much talk about ‘fully awake’, the mind ‘dissolving permanently into the heart center’, ‘enlightenment’ … all of this refers only to thinking. What a waste of time. What Poonja said, what Laksmana Swamy said, what Annamalai Swami said, what Buddha said, what Ramana said - all just pointers. Quoting sages is what children learn in school. Leave the classroom - none of it will help. Find out for yourself.
“I have no teacher, One like me is not, in the world of men and gods, none is my counterpart” –the Buddha, from the Ariy-Pariyesana Sutra
No one knows what is best for you. Not the local psychologist, friend, lover, or Advaita teacher on her sofa throne. If you want to awaken (whatever you think that means) follow your own heart, not someone else’s. Once someone sat under a bodi tree and ceased to suffer. So for more than 2000 years people all over the world sit in meditation in the hope that they too will cease to suffer. But why should what worked for Buddha work for you? Chances are, it wont.It does not matter how ‘awake’ your favourite guru appears to be. In This you are really on your way alone. Not lonely - but alone. And no guru can stand beside you. Follow your own heart into love. If your mind is luxuriating in suffering, it will continue to do so until it tires. So you may as well ignore it now.
Forget the imaginary lineage from Ramana to Poonja to a another to another. This is foolishness. Truth has no lineage. It either seizes your heart forever or it does not. The rest is just psychological nonsense - though of course very appealing and soothing in its way.
Why try to quiet your mind with spiritual practise? The mind’s function is noise - let it natter away. Its coming and goings have nothing to do with you. Really now, the only mind that is forever still is a dead one
You can notice though. You can notice what is behind every action and behind every appearance. And you can smile and live.
Whether you know yourself to be the consequence of everything, whether you jump or not, JUST LIVE! You will anyway.
“You are all Buddhas. There is nothing you need to achieve. Just open your eyes”. — Siddhartha Gautama
We think we know what the result of awakening will be - namely a lessening of pain.
So we make up stories - a story that we must say ‘yes’ to everything, that acceptance will help us awaken. A story that things will be easier if we awaken, that we will love unconditionally if we awaken; that our lives will be smoother, happier. If we awaken. We make up a story that we are drawn to truth. We make up a story that our yearning is opening our hearts.
Ha! All this thinking is just a mind crying out for a good therapist
If you are unhappy or unfulfilled or not at peace, then I would suggest you see such a person - she will probably be of far more help than some self-proclaimed teacher touring around giving ’satsang’ and helping you dream nicer dreams. Awakened state, unawakened state … such things are the storybooks of children. Look around - do the animals spend time wondering about an imagined God, a Nirvana, a state of happiness, a oneness with all?
Have a little humility my dear friend - notice that you are not as clever as the gentle little field mouse who lives quietly in the grasses and never for a moment wonders about becoming one with the universe. She just lives and is. She does not need or think of the pretensions of evolving, of gain, of being something, or of attaining. For her this moment is it - everything and everyone appears and recedes into and out of her own quiet awareness. She just lives.
Really - isn’t all this talk and more talk of awakening just a small death you are giving yourself? Isn’t this imagined answer to all your problems blinding you to what is here, now? If you are unhappy or lack peace, see a therapist.
Or perhaps quiet and free, with pain or without it, just be.
